For you and your child/children. Okay, so this post has the potential of pissing people off, but since I have only two followers...I'm taking my chances. I spent my weekend around two of the most wonderful little babies, twins, that are actually being breastfed. I applaud the mother. I was only able to breastfeed for 3 or 4 weeks before I had to stop. Let me give you some background information.
I had to go on blood pressure medicine because I was still having issues from being pre-eclamptic. The first medicine I was on that allowed me to breastfeed didn't work, and so I had to go to one that went directly into my milk supply. It was the hardest thing I've done so far as a mom. And now, I look back on this and I realize that I was not going to be breastfeeding for my son, but for me. I wanted to be special and I wanted to be the only one that could provide something for him. I then proceeded to spiral into a depression. I missed being pregnant so much. I had a great pregnancy despite the 45lbs gain of fluids, the gall bladder issues, and the eventual BP problems. I did water aerobics and swam laps almost daily. I looked great and felt even better. I loved that special bond that only I could have with my son. Once he was born, it felt as if that bond was gone. I now know that I was wrong. I was fortunate that my husband saw what was coming and we got the help that I needed. I'm a better person and mother for getting that help.
Let's get back to my topic though. I thought my little boy was a big baby when next to the twins. They are small in their physique and my son looked like a pro linebacker compared to them. So, I started asking some questions of the mom before I started making assumptions. Her son is lactose intolerant, so she has given up dairy to breastfeed. Her daughter isn't and probably needs the milk proteins. I know that twins are small and don't have a lot of space because we aren't all that big, but I worry. I can see that the mom worries too. Why are you still breastfeeding one when he has difficulties with it was another question. She just doesn't have the time to pump like I did. She's feeding two. That brought us into the discussion of how both our sons just don't want to work as hard for the milk. Some days, they just want to be fed...so give them a bottle. What I found so refreshing about the conversation is the realistic views that the mom has about her twins. She knows that they are tiny babies, but in their 12 weeks of living they have doubled their weight, and are thriving, and are healthy. You can't ask for much more. The twin mommy also knew that she would have to start supplementing more and could finally start pumping because she's going back to work and obviously can't bring her children. What I found so wonderful is that she's so honest, realistic, does what needs to be done, doesn't dwell on sadness, and is a fantastic mom. The twin mommy is my sister in law and she's great!
Now here's what got me thinking though. My son is formula fed now and is starting rice cereal. He's actually pretty darn normal for his weight, but a little short. Well, my husband and I are a little short...makes sense. He's thriving and happy. The twins are tiny, but they too are thriving and happy. When I gave up breastfeeding the, excuse this term, the Nursing Nazis came out of the woodwork and told me that I had to breastfeed no matter what. Seriously???? I almost passed out on my stairs because of my BP and my son was in my arms. I was breastfeeding at all costs. It was putting my health in danger. What kind of parent would I be if I was that damned self-centered that I did something that could harm both me and my child???? Parenting is a hard job, and being a new parent is the hardest of them all. What I saw when I gave up breastfeeding were these pushy bitches that didn't like me because of that. Well, they can go back judgement land and hang out there because I don't need them in my life. I'm so proud of my SIL and I'm proud of me. We need to stick together moms, and not judge. We need to remember that we are all giving something up that's important...let's try to remember that before we judge someone for their actions.
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