We Are Not The Same

My family isn't the same when Jeremy is gone. I try to stay chipper and upbeat, but inside I am lonely and sad. I laugh, I cry, I smile, and I'm polite. I stay active and even have good times when he's gone. Just deep inside my heart, I am truly sad and lonely for my best friend, my husband. Thirty days is nothing compared to what we have already been through. We will go through another deployment because we are, after all, stationed at Ft. Bragg.

I don't know if families are meant to be separated for long periods of time now. We aren't living in a world where our men and women go to war for years, win, come home, and then the stay put. We are living in a global economy, the internet has brought us close to people all over the world, and maintaining friendships is so easy now. We can Skype with our loved ones in war zones now. But I will go back to the beginning of this. Families just shouldn't be separated for so long. Multiple deployments are hard on everyone, and this is a rant about how bad the wars are and how we need to leave. This is me opening my heart to anyone that will read, and letting you know that I am sad, lonely, and miss my husband. I just think that now, in today's world that we need all the help we can get in raising our children, keeping our families close, and making sure our marriages are strong. We need to have each other around...it's just that simple.

When you are a military spouse you don't have the luxury to fall apart. You have a job, school, and kids; something that makes you need to go on. You have to get up every day, and move forward. You eat breakfast, workout, shower, get dressed, go to where ever you need to be that day. You laugh and smile, but mostly you have to keep a light on in your heart. Because it is that light that will guide our loved ones home to us. We are their lighthouse on a rocky shore in a distant land. We keep our loved ones safe; always and every day. The strength that the military spouse possesses is none like anyone has ever seen. We are hope, faith, kindness, understanding, but above all, we are love wrapped into one person.

No, thirty days is nothing compared to what we will go through later. I know that, but it's what these thirty days represents. They are part of a bigger picture. They are part of a bigger plan. I will keep myself busy and I will stay strong. I will remind myself that this is what we signed up for, and I will grin slyly with that reminder. I will remember that we are not alone. I will beam with happiness when I think about how much I love my airman. I will gather my strength from sources all over the world and I will keep that light on in my heart. It will burn strong for Jeremy until he comes home. We are not the same without my sweet husband and we love you and are proud of you.