Today

Today started out differently from all the other days.
Today I watched my husband pack up a bag and rucksack.
Today I tried not to cry too early, but I did when he wasn’t looking.
Today I held my baby close and told him that everything would be okay.
Today I felt like I might have lied to myself and my son.
Today…

Today I heard a song on the radio that made me smile.
Today my husband was so silly, that I snorted when I laughed on our way to the airport.
Today my husband kissed my hand.
Today a good man told me that he loves me.
Today I told that good man I love him too.
Today…


Today a brave face was put on in front of people.
Today a woman felt like a scared little girl.
Today a wife confessed to a husband that she’s worried and scared.
Today a mommy insisted on a family picture.
Today that scared girl went through security and was able to have a private moment to say farewell.
Today…


Today tears poured freely from my eyes like a heavy rainfall.
Today I felt my heart leave my body and board a plane.
Today fear gripped my soul.
Today I told my husband that cowards are always welcome in our home, not heroes.
Today I cried.
Today…


Today was a day like only one I have been through before.
Today reminded me of January 26, 2009.
Today made me think of when Jeremy left for Iraq.
Today I didn’t feel as lonely.
Today my son made me smile.
Today…


Today I felt weak.
Today I felt insecure.
Today I wondered if other spouses cried as hard as I did.
Today I compared myself to other spouses.
Today I got over that crap, and remembered that deployments just plain old stink.
Today…


Today got better.
Today got easier.
Today my child recognized his Flat Daddy.
Today I smiled at my Flat Husband and didn’t feel like he was so far away.
Today is almost over…breath…just breath…in and out.
Today…


I will face hard times while he is gone. I will hold my baby close and tell his smiling face that I miss his daddy. He will look at me and know what that means. I know this time will be easier, and I know I will be better at being a deployed spouse than before.

Today I secured our loan for a house to become a home.


http://youtu.be/rjFaenf1T-Y