Today I got up, fed my son, put him back to bed to sleep, and started thinking about my long day. I showered, got ready, had coffee…did the normal morning stuff that people do. I did these things today with a very important person on my mind. I woke up wondering where he was, and I also hoped that he got a good night’s sleep. I laughed thinking about how he would want a cup of coffee, and I saw the flat version of him and I smiled and said “Hey baby…I miss you so much.”
This morning started my family's time with our Flat Daddy, or Flat Jeremy. I took Flat Jeremy downstairs and placed him in my son’s playpen. When I asked, “Where’s Daddy?” Ian crawled over, grinned, and smacked the poster board. I know my son knows who his father is, but it’s important to me that he will remember him. He was then distracted by his toy and turned away to play. Ahhhh to be a baby.
I took Flat Jeremy to his work today. I would see him at the squadron; it’s typically a place where he should be unless he’s training. I had to prepare myself to be made fun of by people; instead I was met with warm greetings and smiles. The gate security guard asked me who the handsome man was beside me in the car. When I explained what I was doing, he smiled, told me that I’m a great mom, and a great military wife. I have to admit that he made me tear up a little. Jeremy’s co-workers thought the idea was crazy, but great.
Jeremy was with me the entire time and it felt like he was watching over me. Even now, I can see my Flat Jeremy and I feel protected and loved. He’s here, but not really, but here somehow. I took pictures of Flat Jeremy at his desk. I took pictures of Flat Jeremy at my desk too. At one point I found myself wanting to talk to my Flat Jeremy. I wanted to tell him, that I was having a fun day.
Deployments are a crappy time. Families are meant to be together, not apart. You have to do what you can to make sure that you and your kids know that it will be okay. Wallow a little…it’s allowed. But always remember to pick yourself up. Sure there are people out there that have it worse, but I’m not one of those people. You can go around comparing yourself to what other families are going through, but what’s the point? That will only drive a person crazy and make you feel inadequate. Families are meant to be together…simple.
I have decided that it’s okay if I’m the crazy military spouse that keeps a flat version of her husband. I’m going to take him everywhere, and I’m going to take pictures and make sure that he and my son know about this time. Though we may physically be separated, we are always a family.
3 comments:
Susan, I am SO PROUD of you! Flat Jeremy definitely is a wonderful thing for Ian, every day Ian can recognize his sweet daddy! I think it's sweet Flat Jeremy still watches over your Kate Spade. :-)
Susan...I have never met you...but if I could only pick one word describe you I would pick...Awesome! I'm a friend of Lea and read this post b/c she mentioned it. I wish you and your family peace during this deployment.
Thank you both so much. I just know I have to do something for my family. Like I wrote, families are supposed to be together, and somehow I don't feel so lonely. I wish I had known about Flat Daddies when he was first deployed. I wasn't a parent, but I still would have gotten one.
Lea, I'm so happy that you recognized my Kate Spade. I love that purse. It was hard to have him do a rapid deployment, and then with everything else we've been through, but I knew that this time I had to do more. I feel like I'm that poster child of military spouses. You know the super spouse that just keeps going along and doing her/his thing?
Post a Comment