The Long Haul

This has been an interesting week for me. I started school again, my aunt's cancer has returned, and the two items that bother me the most...in no particular order...my mom is finally leaving Germany and my husband is going to Iraq. Iraq is a small country that exists in the news for me until now. It is part of my reality. I am scared. I have never been so scared in my life. I know I'm supposed to be strong for Jeremy, but I am afraid for him. I have had friends deploy there many times over the last five years and I was scared for them as well. I just hope beyond the realm of hope that he will be safe. I am though, so proud of him. As I pour out my heart through these words so old and new friends can read them, I hope for understanding. I hope that these next few months with Jeremy will be the best ever, and I hope that when he returns we will have even better.

The other item on my list of interesting is knowing that my parents are finally leaving Germany. A door will close on my childhood and teenage years and I will never have the home I grew up in again. It's strange to me to know that I will only live in Germany again if we get stationed there. I will miss it. I have spent over 20 years in Germany and it will be sad to never have it back again the way I have it now. But it is good to know that Germany shaped me into the person I am now. I think when I go back in December, I will finally take Jeremy to Zweibrucken. He'll love it!

So, I have a long haul ahead of me. I will keep my chin up, and hope for the best and expect just that. I will tie my yellow ribbons and I will say my goodbyes. I will move forward and enjoy the new in my life.

Old Times and Old Places

I wrote this so long ago, but I have been thinking about it again. I keep finding more and more people from my high school days and I love it. But it's bittersweet because I miss those places so much and they are truly gone forever. I don't understand why it bothers me so much. I don't particularly miss high school. I liked, but I always wanted more. I wanted my 20's. I wanted to be on my own and do whatever I wanted. I don't get it some days. I guess your memories are sweeter than the actual moment.

Please read and understand us military kids. Thank You!



I have been thinking a lot about where I grew up. I think talking to Kari yesterday has something to do with it, but also the other blasts from the past that I've had recently. It's weird to know that you grew up in Germany. That your home is a town with a closed Army Post and Air Force Base. What's even more weird and sad is to know that you will never have it back again the way it used to be. Those days are long gone and over. Your high school is now a designer outlet mall that the Germans love. I don't know why I am thinking so much about this time. I get so lonely for those days when I was growing up in Germany. I miss our old commissary on Kreuzberg Kaserne and I can't remember if the Air Base had one. I remember being able to walk all over that post and I remember how friendly it was.

I wonder if anyone else knows what has gone on there? Do they know the memories that the housing area holds for people like myself? Do they know that the town of Zweibrucken is one the greatest places in Germany? I think it's strange how I couldn't go and see my home when I was just living in Germany. I guess I prefer the memories.

I think I will go home when I go back to Germany this winter. I will go home to show Jeremy where I learned how to ride my bike and trick or treated for years. I will show him the place where I had my first cigarette and where I had my first kiss. I will show him where I went to prom and where my schools were. I think he needs to see these places that seemingly exist in memory only.

I love the blasts from the past. They awaken thoughts in you that seemed forgotten. I'm so happy that my home is not forgotten as most places are for military kids.

Thoughts, School and Stuff

So today, I did something that I have wanted to do since my knee surgery and that is swim 1/2 a mile in the base pool. It felt great. I'm very hungry, but feel exhilarated at the same time. It's so cool how swimming makes you feel. I don't have a care in the world when I'm in the pool and don't feel any pain. I love it!

Also, school starts tomorrow and I feel as if I'm going to ignore my wonderful friends. I don't want to, but I have to get this done. I have assignments and project due every week so I will be very busy. I will of course manage my time, but still I need to focus of what's important. If my friends truly love me, then they will understand. When we are together our time will be more precious.

Our move has been interesting and I realized something yesterday. I don't know how my mom did this as an Army wife. How did she make a move look so easy and how did she never let my brother and myself know that she was stressed, and tired? I learned so much these last two weeks and I am so happy that I did. I like learning good life lessons.
Thank you all my friends and family for your love, patience and support. You are all amazing!

Two things that I do when I see, think of, or talk to Jeremy. Today he has been the most exceptional man. I knew when I met him 4 years ago that I had found something good, and today is one of those days that makes you know that you have something great.

We are in the middle of a PCS move from one home to another in housing. We, like crazy people, decided to do a partial "do it yourself" move (DITY) and have movers come in next week to do the big stuff. Well, it's been insanity in this house. The cat is freaking out and of course jumping into every box, Jeremy is working because he has too, and I'm doing the best I can, but feeling that it's not enough. I come home today from PT and see that he's done so much that I'm overwhelmed with relief.

I think it's really great when a couple can be so in tune with each other that no words need to be spoken. It doesn't need to happen all the time because then it wouldn't be special, but when it does happen.......

I know that moving your stuff is not the most romantic thing ever, but I don't care. In my opinion; it doesn't have to be the grand gestures that make your day. It's the small and sometimes practical things that make your day. Those small, practical things relieve stress and allow for the grand, romantic gesture to be exactly what it's intended to be. So as I wrote at the very beginning...a sweet, sly smile and a long, loving look...now that's great romance!

the poo heard 'round the housing area...

Okay, so Jeremy and I have been having some housing issues lately. So much so that we had to go to his 1st Sgt to get help. Well housing is finally stepping up to the plate and attempting to take care of us. We picked up the keys to our new home on Thursday. There is one major problem and that is the housing office gave us a dirty home. In the downstairs half bathroom, one of the construction workers left his poo marks in my toilet. That's right, there are poo marks in my bathroom from some random stranger. I am sitting here laughing because it's almost unreal to me. Is there really someone's leftovers in my bathroom of my new, never been lived in home? Yes, is the answer. So, I am going to document this for the housing office. That will consist of taking a picture and turning it in with our pre-inspection paperwork. I'm still laughing and smiling to myself because I can't believe that I have to take a picture of poo. I think that's all that I can write at this point.